I just woke up thinking that it was 7:31 am..... Turns out that I reset my clock, so it's not even remotely close to 7 at all... shit, I have so much to do.

Laundry, homework, then musical time

Ja ne

Haha, wow. It's been so long since I've posted anything here.

Anyways, single again, this time not of my own volition.  :(  Oh well, I knew this wasn't really a long term relationship, but it still hurts to end it. It hit me all of a sudden yesterday when I was at the IC attempting to finish my paper (which I didn't). I almost started bawling right then and there. It was pretty hard for me to actually not cry.

School + breaking up = way too much stress for me. I basically had a mini breakdown.

So what did I do?  I went straight home, crawled into bed with a bottle of tequila and Squirt, ordered pizza, and watched horrible slasher flicks. There's nothing to put your life into perspective that seeing massive amounts of people die.  I may not do well in the class that I skipped yesterday, but I don't really care anymore. My paper starts off at a C now.  So I guess I better make it the best damn paper ever.

Hmmm, I hate school. Or maybe I just hate that class?? Who knows.

This is what the rest of my week looks like:

Tuesday: paper writing for my class manana and laundry

Wednesday: work and class. And I guess, write the paper that was due yesterday

Thursday: edit that paper, submit it. Um... go shopping? Or maybe just start researching my history paper

Friday: ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW! And possibly dinner with Jess

gah, I can't wait until i get out of school :)

Haha, the adventures of text boy have started up again. He's my lucky charm.... whenever we start texting, I usually meet a guy :)

Meh, and I probably won't do so. Shit, how did it get to be 9?? Mmk, real entry will have to be later. But I figure, since I'm procrastinating, I might as well do it here.

What's been going on in my life?

Hmm, well, I broke my "no dating" rule. We met in an extremely dorky way that I won't even mention, but I'm super happy that we did :) He's amazing, and super adorable. He also understands my crazy hectic schedule, and doesn't mind if I can't talk to him everyday.  I just wish I could communicate better, which is something that I've always sucked at. I don' know, I just realized that we don't really know that much about each other's lives... so I think I'm going to try to share more, which is hard for me. Crazy trust issues that I have no idea where they come from.  Anyways, I think I need to work a little harder to make this more of a real relationship. maybe it's the fact that we didn't start off as friends, or have the same friend base. It's a little weird dating someone who I haven't know for a while. I'm so used to dating people who know my life story, so i don't have to bring it up. I'm a lot more fucked up that people realize underneath this ditzy appearance. Haha, emo roro *cries in corner... jk*

School sucks. I'm crazy apathetic. I think my brain is on strike because I didn't graduate with everyone else last year. I'm crazy nervous about my life after graduation. And I don't know if I'm doing grad school, dental school, med school, whatever. I haven't taken any tests, nor have I signed up for any >_< I guess I'll take the GRE in the spring, most likely January, so i should probably start studying for that, right? I wish I chose a major that I could get a job with right out of college, like nursing or (god forbit) accounting. I can't really do anything with a major in history . Blah

I have this problem where I'm apathetic towards school. Take, for instance, the fact that I had a 10 page paper due Thursday... I'm only on page one. I've been trying to write it all day, but i find ways to distract myself. >_< Now I'm going to be pulling an allnighter, upon feeling not-so-good. I feel motivated up until the paper is due.  And if it's late, I turn strangely apathetic... I have no idea. 

Anyways, I'm off to write my paper, and maybe sneak in a nap. I'm turning it in tomorrow before midnight, but I want to at least get six pages written tonight, so I'm not "Ahhh! omgi'mgoiingtodiekillmenow" tomorrow

There is SNOW OUTSIDE!!!


More than 2 inches deep!

I fucking hate insurance companies, and my mother, and I just want to cry..

WHAT THE FUCK!


I fucking hate the real world

Why can't we have universal health insurance, so that I wouldn't have to deal with this crap?

And fucking people who charge ringtones to other people's phones~! What the fuck is the pleasure in BUYING RINGTONES YOU CAN'T EVEN USE?!!!

ALSO, why didn't my mother fucking change her number??! How the fuck am I supposed to find one person in the trillion of internet users who did this?! Am I fucking Wonder Woman with a fucking lasso of truth?! FUCK NO!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
 

So I'm back at school. Thankfully my house didn't flood, and the water crested this morning, which basically means that the water should start to recede soon.

Le sigh, I hate hurricanes... and I'm not even remotely close to any coastline

So... my block (in the suburbs) might get evacuated because the river is flooding. Right now, it's about 10 feet away from the back of our house. If anyone's seen my house.... basically it's about 3/4 of an acre from the river. We were helping my neighbors sandbag their driveway who had the misfortune of living right off the river. The water is basically pooling from my backyard though... Apparently, this is going to be worse than the flood in 1987, which flooded my entire basement or so I hear (as I was two at the time). Thankfully my parents put in a water pump, so we shouldn't actually flood, but wow, this sucks.

So let's pray that the water doesn't rise much further, despite the fact that it's supposed to rain tomorrow.

Oh, and the bridge from my town to Brookfield (next town over)... hopefully it doesn't collapse since they're currently working on it.

Glah, who knew my facebook status would be so accurate

And this is the last post I'll dedicate to it. After a few days of doubts, I cried him out of my system, and now I'm feeling pretty good. I definitely won't be dating for a while... especially since this semester is going to be hell.

I think I'll be sticking to my heterosexual lifemates for the time being ^_^

Tomorrow is An Affair To Remember in the park... I'm having a picnic date with Gennie. This should be fun ^_^

Ahh, my last week of freedom before school starts next week.

6 months of my life in a relationship, and now it feels odd to be out of one. It was for the best, probably. I just wasn't sure if I loved him, or if I ever could, and he was beginning to rub me the wrong way every time I saw him. I do care for him.... even now I have my doubts on whether I did the right thing. I don't know if it's because I miss being in an actual relationship, or if I miss being with him. I'm far sadder than I thought I was going to be.... maybe I do need to do the girl thing and just sit at home, watch lame movies, and cry into ice cream. Yes, even though I did break up with him, I miss him a lot and I kindof wish he was still here. :(  But it was better to leave than to stay in a relationship for comfort's sake. The single world is looking far less exciting than it did a week ago. 

This may seem strange to you that I'm writing about bullying in Japanese schools, but I'm helping out a friend and writing something that has always interested me.  LJ-cut for those who don't want to read it. Sorry if this is a bit rambling... I'll try to refine it later.




  Ok, so that is an extremely rough draft. I'll try fixing it up and including other ideas by late Monday. I want to include a bit more research, such as statistics and maybe how much news it gets. And I have to review some of the dramas because it's been a while since I've seen them.

DEANNA DON'T USE THIS YET!

So my life has basically been class, work, class, work, go home to the burbs. Tomorrow's my Grade school unofficial reunion... at a bar. Hopefully it's not awkward. I need to study

GLAH

But I guess it's time right? At least I have my parents to fall back on if I can't make rent. I really want to get a new digital camera, but now I have to budget. So I figure... by the time I get the camera, summer will already be over. I want to buy it, and then just pay my parents back in installments, but I know they'll yell at me for getting a new camera. Heaven forbid I get a new camera (my camera is about 4 years old... and 3.2 mp back when that was big... yea, that old), even though my dad just got a new camera to replace his 4 month old camera that STILL WORKS. And the fact that he just bought a new modem for the house, and internet booster... and computer desks. Yea, THAT'S why my parents don't want me to spend money. I figure I siphon money from my next 8 paychecks towards this, and maybe just give my mom $175 upfront to pay for it. I think I'll get it next week when I get my next paycheck.

Mmk, that's about it for my financial woes. More like whining... just ignore this post. Once again, it's the typical rant.

I can't wait to get my new camera!!

So the last time I went to the doctor's, about two weeks ago, he mentioned something that's been sticking with me. Apparently there's a cause behind my famously bad memory and attention deficiencies.... my chemo treatment. Which makes sense. It wasn't until after chemo that I started having memory problems, and I wasn't as ... loopy, let's call it. But yea, apparently studies have proven that the chemo treatment for ALL is highly correlated with deficiencies in "visual and verbal short term memory." It's good to know that I'm not crazy to think that my memory pattern changed in a matter of a few years.

Funny thing about this? I kept meaning to look up medical articles about this, but I kept forgetting until this morning

Haven't written a post in a while. I can't even remember the last one I wrote. Anyways quick update of my life: it's boring. That's about it. lol. I wake up insanely early (5 am) M-Thursdays to be at work by 7, and then to go to Orgo class/lab right afterwards. Summer school started this week, and while I feel like I have a better grasp of Orgo due to having a MUCH better teacher, the fact that I have a test next Friday freaks me out. Guess I'll be a honest-to-goodness hermit during the week, only to come out of my shell during the weekend. That should be the only free time I have.... and this will be my schedule for the entire summer. Aaaand it's time to go to bed, night y'all

So here is what my schedule looks like for the rest of the week:

Today:
Finish watching Throne of Blood (what I'm doing right now, or semi-doing)
Lunch at 11:30-1
Jap Film final at 4:15 (I'm kind of screwed for this one)
Write paper for Music class
Write 18 journal entries for music class

Tuesday:
Still working on paper and journals
Turn in paper and journals by 1
Dr. appointment at 1

Wednesday:
Nazi Revolution final 9-11

Thursday:
Job interview
NO FINALS WHOOO

Friday:
Japanese final 9-11
RLSD Improv show

Saturday:
Genetics final 1-3


As you can see, today is my hell day, and I'm going to die. Oh well, time for breakfast and getting ready, then back to the movie. At least I got 8 hours last night, since I only slept 4 hours Saturday night... Coffee is going to be my frieeeeend

Who assigns a presentation to the class THREE WEEKS before the paper upon which the presentation is on??? It's insane!

In case you haven't realized, I have a presentation tomorrow. A presentation that I found out about last Thursday, and of which I had no choice in accepting. I'm supposed to sing a Japanese song, but it's a bit impossible as a) I haven't translated any songs yet (I thought I had two more weeks!), and b) I don't have a piano that I can practice it on anyways. Shit. It's supposed to be a PowerPoint... guess what I DON'T have? Yup, powerpoint... stupid trial versions. Honestly, who thought that that was a good idea? It SUCKS! I already shelled out how much for a laptop? I don't want to shell out more for what should already be installed!!

Gah, I have less than 9 hours to prepare for this presentation. I'm also supposed to meet this boy for a talk on interfaith relations for two hours before a meeting on Friday. NOT good. I thought that this was supposed to be easy, but it's so not.

I hate school. Remind me again why I'm staying an extra year??

So remember that class that I still hadn't gotten a grade for from last semester? I HAVE A FUCKING F IN THE CLASS!! Which is IMPOSSIBLE since I was getting a B. At the very least, I should have gotten a B-. What the fucking hell?!!  I'm pretty sure that my fucking teacher didn't file the fucking paperwork on fucking time. I know my last paper completely sucked, but my bs paper would have only lowered it to C+ at the most extreme.


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Stupid teachers ruining my stupid life

I already sent both the teacher in question and the department secretary emails about this. Hopefully something gets done

Grrr, now I have to attempt to get my another paper done

Why am I so lazy with school? I could seriously write this 7 page paper in about 2.5 hours if I really wanted to. Instead, I've been half-assing it since 9 pm. Which isn't good considering I also need to study for my Japanese exam that I also have tomorrow.

Oh I suck at school. Want to know what my weekend is like?

Friday:
~ Nazi Rev paper due (which is what I'm currently writing)
~ Japanese written exam (which I still need to study for)
~ Translate one Japanese folk song (done between 1:30-5  pm tomorrow)
~ Blackhawk's game @ 7:30

Saturday:
~ Genetics homework and reading for about 6 hours
~ Translation of 2-3 Japanese folk songs
~ Writing a paper that was due this past week (yup, senioritis at its best)
~ Date around 7ish

Sunday:
~ Translation of at least 3 songs
~ Genetics homework and reading
~ General homework
~ Practice Japanese folk songs on keyboard

Monday:
~ Genetics Test (AHHHHH!)

Thursday:
~ Music performance of the Japanese folk songs (which is why I need to translate them T_T )

So the APO Tri-sectional conference is this weekend... normally this means a lot of fun times with other brothers, but now I have a paper due Monday, and a Japanese test next week. Glah. Guess I'll be the lone one sitting in the room doing homework....

I just lost ALL the music on my iPod. For some CRAZY reason, I though that just syncing your playlists would just, you know, sync your playlists and LEAVE THE REST ALONE!! So I just basically lost everything, and a huge chunk were from friends. Le sigh. I guess I'll just have to reload every freaking song that I have. Gah, now I'm going to be late to meet Lisa.

I hate iPods. They should die